just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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