Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
