he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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