I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
