dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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