we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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