I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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