I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
