I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
