You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
