Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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