Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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