A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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