Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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