did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize