this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
