you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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