u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
