You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
