if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
