I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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