Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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