Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
They have beer where we have blood.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
