Got a toothbrush?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
