you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
