I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
