he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
