Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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