I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
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