12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize