Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
