I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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