He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
