Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize