I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
