We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
