you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
