peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
