Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
