kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
