Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize