just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
