And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
