Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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