Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
