I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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