We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
