ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
