also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Randomize
