there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I think your dad took our porno
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
