Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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