god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
