thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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