apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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