its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize