I need help removing her.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
