I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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