Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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