too bad you live with your parents still
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
